Thankful

It's New Years Eve Eve...

She sits and reflects on the last 10 months of 2020 and all that has happened. She doesn't think about the worry and the concern over what the year has brought. She reflects on the time spent with family, in relative solitude for months. trying to make sure life went on in as normal a fashion as possible.

She is thankful for her life, as it is, and her family, as they are.. the good and the bad.  Her friends and family here and away. For her ability to speak and hopefully be heard. 

She is, however, more thankful for being given a gift of a return of a special someone in her life...  

Missing him.

She misses him..   Should she?? does she have the right too??

it's been a while since they have talked.  She knows it's the holidays but she can't help wanting to say hi, or tell him about her day.  

He said, at one point, said she shouldn't miss him..   the problem being.. they haven't connected in many years, but the sudden reconnection even months ago, has her still feeling the same..    it hasn't and not likely to change..  it's been to long, to much apart of her being. hard to understand. and sometimes hard to get through.  she can't help it.. it just is..