Not hard to believe that it's been almost another year since she wrote on the blog. Seems a pattern has emerged.. and she isn't certain why she keeps doing this.. time just gets away.. not time.. live.. gets in the way.. Maybe she just doesn't have anything to write about.. oh.. but she days.. she just doesn't know how to get it down on paper.. or in this case.. on the computer.
Maybe it's today that she needs to write. the build of of things... It seems to happen every year about this time.. a big blow up of some sort.. things not going write.. life.. getting in the way.. ..
She went to lunch today .. with a group of women she knows.. well not really went to lunch.. but did.. she made some items as did the others.. they got together.. talked, discussed.. and then ate.. with more talking and more discussing.. but then she was simply amazed.. at what?? The utter and complete single mindedness of the women as they began taking up empty plates and piling them high again, with the left over food.. to take it home, for themselves to have another meal. Some really needed it.. a few who couldn't cook for themselves. some who just didn't have the energy due to illnesses to be able to fix a dinner.. this would at least tide them over till the next day.. A couple with handicaps that wouldn't allow them to fix a dinner at all.. but the most surprising where the younger group. (none all that young) who just took the food.. oh they asked first.. but then.. in thanking the person for allowing them to take another plate, it wasn't for someone else to enjoy.. it was for them.. so they didn't have to leave their house to get food so they could continue to work on items for their business to make money.. All she could think of was.. selfish.. totally and completely and utterly selfish..
and then.. after that was said and done.. she had a conversation with someone else and asked about how things were done at a resent presentation.. why certain people got awards and others didn't.. the final verdict was.. because of the final academic mark given on a final test.. Had nothing to do with the student.. and how they performed for the school during the course of the year.. but on the final mark.. and while I guess the final mark does reflect on the school, maybe the child just doesn't do well on exams but excels in the practical real world portion of work. but.. it doesn't matter.. the parting works she heard were.. Well .. she knows how good she is... but that really isn't the point.. sometimes the recognition makes all the difference in the world.. ..
So she cried on the way home.. she thought about how utterly alone she felt in her feelings on how the day went.. Nobody knew how she felt about the food situation.. maybe she should tell someone. . or maybe not.. Someone's response would be.. "oh that's just silly. what would we do with the food anyway.".. maybe take it to someone who needs it more than we do.
and no one would understand how she felt about the student and the need for recognition.. maybe they would. but would it really matter..
She knows that the student will succeed.. regardless of where she has been.. she is totally focused on the future and the world that has opened up in front of her.. and she.. the author of this story.. is very thrilled by that..