a lifetime..

 He loves her.  Has for most,  if not all of their lives.  He said it.  Well not out loud. He can't.. but he wrote it and that's ok.. 

She's.... happy.. sad..  her head spins and her heart.  She did say it to him (even though it's possible she shouldn't have)  It's the feeling.  only 2 relationships in her life have really ever meant anything. and this is one of them.. 

she's amazed that he he has re-entered her life after 36 years.  they are much older and both living different but similar lives, in 2 different locations. 

It goes back to childhood.  Kindergarten..   She knows this is true.. it was close to where he lived at the time.  and not far from her parents.   She remembers playing tag.. and maybe calling his name.  and maybe it was always him she went after.. and he her.. 

the next 3 years they spent apart. .at different 1st, 2nd and 3rd grades.. did they see each other ??  attend birthday parties together.??  go swimming?   she isn't sure.

4th and 5th grade they spent in the middle/elementary school.  possibly had the same teachers.. they were on the mod squad together. that's what they called the hall monitors. you know.. those kids assigned to be in the halls during certain times of the day. made sure other students had hall passes to go to the bathroom or the principals office.

he reminds her that flirting happened in a way that only that age humans can do it.. pushing each other down on the playground. .he pulling hair..  she may have kicked him for something he did. . (sounds like something she might do)..  did they eat lunch together??  have the same classes??.. homerooms. possibly.. probably. 

he does remember being told by another classmate.. whispering in his ear that she  liked him.   

They went to 6th and 7th grade together.  again, probably had similar teachers. she had her favorites.  one would be come a good friend to her mother later in life and she remembers liking that teacher very much.  the playground antics likely continued.  they were older now, so maybe not so much of the kicking, or knocking down.. but still likely the flirting continued.

She and her sister left in 8th grade.. went to a different school in another town.. when they came back for the 11th grade, he was happy but, it was short lived. as his family was moving and they would only be together for few months.  15/16 years old they would be.  He says he hung back.. didn't want to risk anymore of the attachment he already had from all the years before. 

fast forward to their next meeting.   She sitting at her workplace, in the 2 top table by the corner and window to the outside.  He noticed her there and she accepted his offer of "going out some time".  

This is where the memories are unsure.  She remembers a movie date.. She knows the name of the theater, the mall it was in and even the shirt and pants HE wore. (no idea what she had on)  She remembers a feeling deep in her soul.   She remembers holding hands. possibly a shared kiss, but it's the feeling she can't get rid of and any other date or situation they may have encountered as to what would end up being a very short time (not sure if days or weeks but no more than that) .  he has reminded her of several places they went.  a dinner at a family restaurant. she does remember this, because of a story that includes this restaurant and her father.  but the rest.. and the other parts she desperately wishes she remembers, but she can't..  She has admitted that she can't. and must have blocked them for self preservation purposes after the last night they saw each other, he admits to being an ass. and then.. he disappeared.